Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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