dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
