Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
