im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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