I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Randomize
