Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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