Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
