If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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