found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
