so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
