do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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