I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
