Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Can I color on your dick again?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
