i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
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