dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
