There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
