shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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