Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
PANTIES FOUND
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