He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
