My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
