She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He felt like a one man threesome
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
