Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
