Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She even gives head with a lisp.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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