i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
