Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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