Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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