I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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