i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
