i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
