You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
