never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
