hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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