Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
