Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
handjob tips. give me some.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
