ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You ate ashes out of my bong
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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