Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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