Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
