you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She bit a glass in half.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
