i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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