that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
