can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
