Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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