I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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