Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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