Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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