So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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