I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
