Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
