You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
