It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
