Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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