Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
is wine microwaveable?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
