He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
