someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
