There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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